You’re at a friend’s party or a - single bar. That sweet looking blonde sitting at the bar gives you a glance from across the room. Then, - suddenly, it happens. Your eyes lock if only for a few seconds, she smiles slightly and then goes back to chatting - with her friend.
You watch for awhile to be sure she’s alone. Your heart starts to pound like a drum as you contemplate an - approach. Sweat begins to trickle down your neck as you - consider your next move. You dread the - long walk over to her, then having to come - up with a “great pick up - line” that will instantly impress her – and to make things worse the whole drama has to be played out right in front of her friend!
Fear floods your brain. Your hands tremble as you take - another swallow of your drink to bolster your nerves. An impulse to run for the door and go home to Monday - night football appears. But you know you have to go through this - terrible ordeal if you are to find a really hot girlfriend. Your thinking vacillates back and forth as you try to decide whether or not she’s worth the risk. Eventually your hormones take over and you decide to follow Elvis Presley’s advice - “It’s now or never”.
So you suck it up and dig down - deep to generate the required courage. You rise from your chair and head - her way. Your mind reels. What will you say? Will she reject you (Oh no!)? By the time you get near her - you’re a nervous wreck but strain to smile as you say ---
This little scenario plays itself out a million times a day at - meeting places all over the world. Men hate it because of all the stress it entails and the overwhelming fear of rejection that most men so deeply - dread.
Indeed, most men are paralyzed by that fear and often the women go not to the best looking men, but instead to the men who have the courage and self-confidence merely to ask.
Women hate this old stressful approach system too as it tends to also put pressure on them. It’s kind of like how you feel when you enter a car showroom and are - immediately approached by a typical high-pressure - salesman. Your guard - is up and you feel nervous and under pressure.
But there’s a better way. Wouldn’t it be great if you could approach a woman in - a way that involved no pressure, very little chance of rejection and seemed like natural conversation – the same kind of conversation you might share with a good friend?
Here’s how it works. You go over to the bar for a fresh drink. You order your drink and then sit down - next to or near your target lady. You focus your attention - across the room, not on her. Then when your target lady has stopped talking for a moment say something out - loud that’s pointed out at the room.
What you say should be loud enough for her to hear but not so loud as to infer that you are speaking directly at her. What you say must sound natural and must also reflect - something obvious about what’s going on in the room. You’re not talking to - anyone in particular - instead you’re kind of thinking out loud.
“Wow, it’s hot in here!” “They (the band) are really hot tonight!” “I’ve never seen this place so - busy or “this place is really packed tonight!” would all - work just fine but you get the idea.
If she is at all interested in you, you can bet your paycheck - that she will recognize your low-key offer and quickly respond. Sometimes a woman will turn toward you and ask if you’re talking - to her. You might want to reply that you were just thinking out - loud and then take it from there.
If she does respond, she will want the conversation to continue from there for as long as it takes for the two of you to come to a mutual decision regarding any further contact. This system involves several advantages over the usual high-sweat system.
First it places much less pressure on you and it doesn’t put her “on the spot”. If you make your comment loud - enough for her to hear it and she chooses not to respond – you lose nothing.
There’s no need to feel - your ego has been damaged by rejection. You wait a little bit and then saunter off back to where you came from with your ego fully intact. You tested her and she didn’t respond.
Your approach was low key and her response - was also low-key. Unless she’s deaf, you gave her a chance. You didn’t “hit on her”, you just made a normal and natural comment.
Secondly, most men are tired of trying to come up with witty comments in order to keep a charming and impressive - conversation going. If you start out your chat with a witty opening line, she may expect you to continue on that level. Just what you needed – more pressure! With this ploy your natural opening comment will lead to a normal everyday kind of conversation. It starts low-key and stays that way.
You were attracted to her and tested her to see if she was interested in you. You can safely assume that if she didn’t respond to your comment - you didn’t pass her test. No problem, after all there are a whole - lot of fish in that sea!
No phony “pick up lines”, no shaky hands, no exposure to the much dreaded risk of - rejection. In her eyes what you did was normal and natural, providing your comment made good sense - and was focused on a natural observation that - anyone there could agree with.
You watch for awhile to be sure she’s alone. Your heart starts to pound like a drum as you contemplate an - approach. Sweat begins to trickle down your neck as you - consider your next move. You dread the - long walk over to her, then having to come - up with a “great pick up - line” that will instantly impress her – and to make things worse the whole drama has to be played out right in front of her friend!
Fear floods your brain. Your hands tremble as you take - another swallow of your drink to bolster your nerves. An impulse to run for the door and go home to Monday - night football appears. But you know you have to go through this - terrible ordeal if you are to find a really hot girlfriend. Your thinking vacillates back and forth as you try to decide whether or not she’s worth the risk. Eventually your hormones take over and you decide to follow Elvis Presley’s advice - “It’s now or never”.
So you suck it up and dig down - deep to generate the required courage. You rise from your chair and head - her way. Your mind reels. What will you say? Will she reject you (Oh no!)? By the time you get near her - you’re a nervous wreck but strain to smile as you say ---
This little scenario plays itself out a million times a day at - meeting places all over the world. Men hate it because of all the stress it entails and the overwhelming fear of rejection that most men so deeply - dread.
Indeed, most men are paralyzed by that fear and often the women go not to the best looking men, but instead to the men who have the courage and self-confidence merely to ask.
Women hate this old stressful approach system too as it tends to also put pressure on them. It’s kind of like how you feel when you enter a car showroom and are - immediately approached by a typical high-pressure - salesman. Your guard - is up and you feel nervous and under pressure.
But there’s a better way. Wouldn’t it be great if you could approach a woman in - a way that involved no pressure, very little chance of rejection and seemed like natural conversation – the same kind of conversation you might share with a good friend?
Here’s how it works. You go over to the bar for a fresh drink. You order your drink and then sit down - next to or near your target lady. You focus your attention - across the room, not on her. Then when your target lady has stopped talking for a moment say something out - loud that’s pointed out at the room.
What you say should be loud enough for her to hear but not so loud as to infer that you are speaking directly at her. What you say must sound natural and must also reflect - something obvious about what’s going on in the room. You’re not talking to - anyone in particular - instead you’re kind of thinking out loud.
“Wow, it’s hot in here!” “They (the band) are really hot tonight!” “I’ve never seen this place so - busy or “this place is really packed tonight!” would all - work just fine but you get the idea.
If she is at all interested in you, you can bet your paycheck - that she will recognize your low-key offer and quickly respond. Sometimes a woman will turn toward you and ask if you’re talking - to her. You might want to reply that you were just thinking out - loud and then take it from there.
If she does respond, she will want the conversation to continue from there for as long as it takes for the two of you to come to a mutual decision regarding any further contact. This system involves several advantages over the usual high-sweat system.
First it places much less pressure on you and it doesn’t put her “on the spot”. If you make your comment loud - enough for her to hear it and she chooses not to respond – you lose nothing.
There’s no need to feel - your ego has been damaged by rejection. You wait a little bit and then saunter off back to where you came from with your ego fully intact. You tested her and she didn’t respond.
Your approach was low key and her response - was also low-key. Unless she’s deaf, you gave her a chance. You didn’t “hit on her”, you just made a normal and natural comment.
Secondly, most men are tired of trying to come up with witty comments in order to keep a charming and impressive - conversation going. If you start out your chat with a witty opening line, she may expect you to continue on that level. Just what you needed – more pressure! With this ploy your natural opening comment will lead to a normal everyday kind of conversation. It starts low-key and stays that way.
You were attracted to her and tested her to see if she was interested in you. You can safely assume that if she didn’t respond to your comment - you didn’t pass her test. No problem, after all there are a whole - lot of fish in that sea!
No phony “pick up lines”, no shaky hands, no exposure to the much dreaded risk of - rejection. In her eyes what you did was normal and natural, providing your comment made good sense - and was focused on a natural observation that - anyone there could agree with.
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